8 signs a man is self-centered and has very little empathy, according to psychology

From the Personal Branding Blog

There’s a fine line between being confident and being self-centered.

The tricky part? Spotting the signs that someone has crossed that line.

You see, truly self-centered individuals often lack empathy, making it hard for them to see things from another’s perspective. This can make relationships with them challenging and, at times, downright exhausting.

As Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a student of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve spent years studying human behavior. And I’ve noticed some telltale signs that someone might be more self-absorbed than they initially appear.

By understanding these signs, you’ll be better equipped to go through complex relationships and interactions.

Remember, knowledge is power. Let’s dive in.

1) He rarely shows empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a key quality that underpins all positive human relationships.

However, when it comes to self-centered individuals, this trait is often noticeably absent.

In my journey with mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve discovered that empathy is a vital part of compassionate living. But for the self-centered man, his world tends to revolve around his own needs, desires, and emotions.

Others’ feelings can often be disregarded or overlooked.

It’s not that he can’t understand how others are feeling. It’s more that he chooses not to invest the emotional energy required for empathetic understanding. This self-focus can be a clear sign of self-centeredness.

Empathy is actively valuing those feelings and considering them in our actions and decisions. The absence of this trait can be a strong sign of a self-centered personality.

2) Rarely takes responsibility

Have you ever noticed that some people always seem to have an excuse? That, somehow, things are never their fault?

This can be another telltale sign of a self-centered individual.

As I’ve explored mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned the importance of taking responsibility for our actions. This isn’t about blame or guilt. It’s about understanding our role in the events of our life and learning from them.

Self-centered individuals, however, often avoid this. They’ll blame others, circumstances, or even fate for their missteps, rather than owning up to their mistakes.

The famed mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn once said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” But for the self-centered person, it’s always about dodging the waves or blaming them for getting wet, rather than learning to ride them.

Recognizing this pattern of behavior can be a clear sign that you’re dealing with someone who is self-centered.

3) Struggles with active listening

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, the art of truly listening to another person can often be overlooked. But when it comes to self-centered individuals, this lack of attention isn’t just a symptom of busyness – it’s a disposition.

Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of right speech, which includes not only mindful speaking but also active, empathetic listening. It’s about being fully present with another person, hearing their words, and understanding their feelings.

However, for a self-centered man, conversations often revolve around himself. He might constantly steer the conversation back to his experiences or dismiss others’ feelings or opinions.

This inability to genuinely listen and give others the floor can be an indication of self-centeredness. It’s a raw truth, but one that’s important to acknowledge if we’re to cultivate healthier relationships.

4) Displays a lack of gratitude

Gratitude is a cornerstone of mindfulness. It’s this conscious act of appreciating the good in our lives, the kindness of others, and the beauty in our world.

However, when dealing with a self-centered man, you might notice a distinct lack of gratitude.

He may take things for granted, overlook the efforts of others, or focus solely on what he doesn’t have rather than appreciating what he does.

This lack of gratitude is more than just forgetting to say ‘thank you’. It’s an attitude that subtly communicates that he believes he is entitled to the good things in life without any need for appreciation or acknowledgment.

This attitude can be a hard truth to swallow. Mindfulness teaches us to cherish every moment and every act of kindness – a lesson that seems lost on those who are self-absorbed.

5) Constant need for validation

I’ve noticed in my years of studying human behavior that self-centered individuals often have a constant need for validation. They seek approval and appreciation from others, often using their achievements or possessions as a means to gain this attention.

This validation-seeking behavior is a stark contrast to the teachings of Buddhism and mindfulness, which encourage us to find contentment within ourselves, rather than seeking it externally.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into this concept in more depth. How we can cultivate a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on outside validation.

If a man constantly requires validation, it could be a sign that he is self-centered, using others’ approval to bolster his own ego rather than fostering genuine connections. It’s a subtle yet revealing trait of those who place themselves at the center of their universe.

6) Unwilling to compromise

Compromise is the grease that keeps the wheels of any healthy relationship turning smoothly. Yet, in the realm of a self-centered individual, this concept often seems alien.

A man who is self-absorbed often has a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude. This rigid approach to life and relationships can be an indicator of his self-centered nature.

He may prioritize his own needs and desires over others, showing little flexibility or willingness to find middle ground.

This is quite contrary to the principles of Buddhism and mindfulness, which teach us about the importance of balance, acceptance, and adaptability. Life is full of changes and differing perspectives. To navigate it harmoniously, we must be willing to bend and accommodate.

The raw truth is, an unwillingness to compromise can be a sign of a self-centered man. It’s a behavior that clearly signals a lack of empathy and consideration for others. It’s tough, but necessary to acknowledge if we’re aiming for healthier relationships.

7) Lack of genuine interest in others

Ever had a conversation where you felt like the other person wasn’t really interested in what you had to say? This lack of genuine interest can be another sign of a self-centered individual.

When a man’s world revolves around himself, he might show little interest in getting to know others on a deeper level. Conversations may feel superficial and one-sided, with the focus often returning to him.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk, once said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.” But for the self-centered man, this ‘presence’ is often missing. His attention is inward-focused, leaving little room for genuine curiosity or understanding of others.

This raw truth can be a tough pill to swallow. But, acknowledging this lack of interest can provide valuable insights into his self-centered nature.

After all, true connection requires mutual interest and understanding, something that seems lost on those who are self-absorbed.

8) Overly generous behavior

This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, overly generous behavior can be a sign of a self-centered individual.

Here’s why: A self-centered man can sometimes use generosity as a means to control or gain favor. He might shower others with gifts or acts of service, not out of genuine kindness, but as a way to keep the spotlight shining on him.

Mindfulness teaches us about the beauty of selfless giving – the act of giving without expecting anything in return. However, in the self-centered individual, these acts of ‘generosity’ often come with strings attached.

It’s important to distinguish between genuine kindness and manipulative generosity. The latter can be a subtle yet revealing sign of self-centeredness. A mindful approach helps us recognize this distinction and respond wisely.

Remember, change starts with awareness. With awareness, we can choose how to respond and interact in a manner that aligns with our values and fosters healthier relationships.

Conclusion

If you found this article helpful and want to explore more about living a life of mindfulness and empathy, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.

It’s a deep dive into the wisdom of Buddhism, offering practical advice on how to live a meaningful life while minimizing ego-driven behaviors.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Here’s to cultivating more empathy and less ego in our lives.

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