Expect Nothing. Accept Everything.

If your desired internal state during your next round is fearlessness, contentment and confidence, then read this article about an approach to create freedom that has helped my players improve performance in tournaments.

Fear is in the imagination

Since the emotion of fear comes from predicting something that hasn’t happened yet, you could say that it only exists in your imagination and it’s not actually real. Because it’s somewhere in our minds that this round could go badly and negatively impact our future, it affects how we think and feel in the present.

We fear things such as missing out on qualifying, losing ranking points, and losing respect from others. Because we view these outcomes as harmful to us, they become bigger in our minds and we focus on what we can do to avoid that possibility, making us nervous and tense.

Something that is certain is that the outcome is always uncertain

Think about this. No matter how good you become, you will never have complete control over the outcome of your shots and your rounds. If the best players in the world can miss a 4ft putt, then this is just one small example of how unpredictable the outcome is and will always be.

In other words, there is a whole array of possible outcomes for every shot, every hole and every round. Your next round could be your best round ever. It could be a solid, steady round. It could be below average or you could shoot a high score. You just don’t know.

Surrender to the Outcome

I remember watching an interview with Scottie Scheffler before the final round of his first Masters win in 2022. Of course, the interviewer asked him what his prediction was and whether he thought he would win (he had a 3 shot lead), to which he responded, “I don’t know, it’s in God’s hands now”. Whether you are religious or not, this way of thinking makes complete sense. By surrendering to the outcome and saying “I don’t know how I will play”, you accept whatever the future brings and you remove the self imposed constraints upon you by predicting and thinking you actually have control over it.

Expect nothing and Accept Everything

Instead of trying to think yourself into shooting a good score by telling yourself that you will, you are better off admitting to yourself that “Although I will do my best on every shot, I don’t know how I will play”. Let’s think about why this is better.

Firstly, it’s true – we don’t know.

Second, if you say you are going to play well today you have expectations of how you will play, and as you know, golf rarely goes how we expect it to and it will mostly lead to disappointment and frustration when it doesn’t go as planned.

Third, if we accept that any outcome is a possibility, including a bad round, we come to terms with it, instead of fearing it. If we can find a way to do this, we dissolve the effect that that possible undesirable outcome has over us in the present moment and we become more fearless.

Acceptance and Approval is not the same thing

Because you accept that any outcome is possible, it doesn’t mean that you approve of it. I’m assuming that you are a competitive player and obviously you desire good scores over bad scores. Being accepting of all possible outcomes doesn’t imply that you are completely indifferent to any score that you shoot or how you execute any shot. I know you care about your performance and that will always be the case. But you are also smart and rational which means that you would be foolish to not realize that no matter how much you want to play well, it’s not always going to happen, and by pre-accepting that possibility you create more freedom for yourself in the present and less frustration if you do get those undesirable outcomes. By creating this freedom, you increase your chances of performing well.

You’re still a good player and person if you don’t play well

Another thing that Scottie said, this time before the final round of his second Master’s win in 2024 (he had a lead going into the final round in this one too), was that no matter how the final round went his personal identity was still intact. When you can feel like you are already secure, without needing good scores to feel better about yourself as a person, you will again, have a lot more freedom on the course.

Gratitude and Acceptance don’t make you less competitive, they make you more free!

We do things better when we approach them with gratitude and appreciation no matter what the outcome. Playing golf in itself is always something to be grateful for. When we can think of it in this way, we are coming at it from a place of having, not striving. We can feel happy in the moment, rather than feeling that we are striving for a good score to make us happy in the future. And this doesn’t make you any less competitive! When I bring this up with players who have a mindset that it’s all about winning, they are skeptical because they think that it makes them less competitive. You can still be competitive and bring an intensity to your play, but it’s from a foundation of gratitude which gives you quiet contentment and a buffer for any of the setbacks. Studies show this to be true – Steven Kotler of the Flow Research collective shows that there is a direct link between gratitude and getting into the optimal performance state of flow. When we are happy, we focus better, we think better and we play better.

Thanks for reading. I feel grateful for being able to share these insights from the work I do with my students which has helped them to get more out of their games and enjoy playing more.

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Source: https://golfstateofmind.com/expect-nothing-accept-everything/