7 types of people you don’t realize are holding you back in life, says a psychologist

From the Personal Branding Blog

We all know that social connection is essential for our well-being and success. The people we surround ourselves with can lift us up, inspire us, and support us in reaching our goals.

But what happens when certain people in our lives have the opposite effect?

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we can be held back by the very people we trust or lean on the most.

Whether it’s a friend who’s constantly negative, a family member who doubts every step we take, or a colleague who subtly undermines our confidence, these types of relationships can chip away at our growth in ways we may not see right away.

Let’s explore seven types of people who could be silently holding you back and how recognizing these patterns can open the door to a healthier, more empowering circle.

1) The constant critic

We all know this person: they’re quick to point out flaws, ever ready with a critique, and seemingly never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong, constructive criticism is an essential part of growth, but there’s a substantial difference between someone who guides you to improve and someone who constantly tears you down.

The problem with the constant critic is that they can erode your self-esteem over time. You might start:

• Doubting your abilities
• Questioning your decisions
• Second-guessing your worth

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect and everyone has room for improvement. However, constant negativity from someone can hinder your progress rather than propel it.

So next time you’re around the constant critic, remember to take their words with a pinch of salt. Acknowledge their points but don’t let them dictate your self-worth.

2) The energy vampire

Now, this is a type of person I’ve personally encountered in my own life.

An energy vampire, as the name suggests, is someone who drains you emotionally. They’re often overly demanding, needy, or generally negative.

I remember a friend I had during my university days who would call me at all hours, crying over the smallest issues or venting about every little inconvenience.

At first, I was supportive and empathetic, believing that’s what a good friend should do.

But over time, I realized that these interactions left me feeling exhausted, emotionally drained, and unable to focus on my own needs and problems. It was like she was sucking all my energy away, leaving me with nothing for myself.

I learned the hard way that it’s important to set boundaries with such people. It’s okay to help others but not at the cost of your own mental health.

3) The one-upper

Now let’s talk about the one-upper. This person always has something bigger, better, or more dramatic to share, no matter what you’re talking about.

You got a promotion? They got a better one.

You’re planning a vacation? They’ve already been to that place and ten others better.

You had a tough day? Well, their day was an absolute catastrophe.

Interacting with a one-upper can be draining. It can feel like your experiences and achievements are being diminished or even dismissed outright. It’s as if you’re in an endless competition you never signed up for.

Worse still, this constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, making you question whether your accomplishments are good enough.

Don’t let the one-uppers of the world belittle your experiences or make you feel lesser. Remember that life is not a competition; it’s your unique journey.

So keep progressing at your own pace and cherish your victories along the way.

4) The pessimist

We all have that one person in our lives who seems to see the glass as perpetually half-empty. The eternal pessimist, as it were.

These individuals tend to focus on the negatives and often anticipate the worst possible outcomes. Being around them can be draining as their gloomy outlook can begin to cloud your own perspective.

I’ve found that when I spend too much time with pessimistic individuals, I start to adopt their negative mindset.

Their doubts and fears start seeping into my thoughts, and before I know it, I’m second-guessing my decisions and getting anxious about my future.

Psychology shows that pessimism can be contagious. But so is optimism.

So surround yourself with positive people who inspire hope and encourage you to see the brighter side of life.

5) The time monopolizer

Time is a precious resource, one that once spent, you can never get back.

Enter the time monopolizer. This person doesn’t seem to understand or respect your time. They may:

• Continually demand your attention
• Take up disproportionate amounts of your day
• Persistently distract you from your tasks

Did you know that according to a survey by Salary.com, the average person admits to wasting over two hours each day?

Now imagine if a significant chunk of that time is taken up by a time monopolizer. It adds up quickly, doesn’t it?

The constant interruptions and distractions can derail your focus, sap your energy, and significantly disrupt your productivity.

It’s important to set boundaries with such individuals and manage your time effectively.

How you spend your time directly impacts your progress in life. Don’t let someone else dictate it for you.

6) The non-listener

Communication is a two-way street, and a significant part of it involves listening. However, not everyone understands this.

The non-listener tends to dominate conversations, leaving little room for you to express your thoughts or feelings. They’re often so wrapped up in their own narrative that they forget to pay attention to yours.

It can feel disheartening when you’re not heard or understood. You might even start doubting the importance of your own voice.

But here’s what I want you to remember: Your voice matters. Your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are valid and deserve to be heard.

So if you’re dealing with a non-listener, remind them that communication is a shared endeavor. You deserve to be listened to just as much as they do.

7) The dream killer

At the heart of every success story is a dream. But dream killers, often masked as realists or pragmatists, can throw cold water on your aspirations.

These individuals quickly point out the impracticalities of your ambitions, emphasizing the obstacles more than the possibilities.

Their negative influence can stifle your creativity, dampen your spirit, and ultimately make you abandon your dreams.

But here’s one thing you should always hold onto: Your dreams are yours for a reason. They are the compass that directs your life’s journey.

Don’t let anyone snuff out that spark within you. Keep dreaming, keep striving, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself. You’re capable of achieving more than you could ever imagine.

Wrapping up

Surrounding yourself with people who genuinely support and uplift you is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward achieving your full potential.

So pay attention to how you feel around different people. Do they uplift you or drain you? Do they respect your boundaries or overstep them?

By choosing relationships that encourage your growth, you can create a circle that reflects the life you aspire to lead—one of positivity, encouragement, and mutual respect.

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