8 subtle signs a co-worker is attracted to you but trying to play it cool

From the Personal Branding Blog

Navigating the terrain between professional and personal can be tricky, especially when it comes to deciphering signs of attraction at the workplace.

We’ve all been there—you notice a co-worker giving you more attention, but they’re playing it cool, so you’re not entirely sure.

Are they just friendly or is there more behind those casual conversations?

Attraction in a professional setting is often masked by restraint and caution, making it hard to tell if a co-worker is interested in you.

It’s all in the subtleties and, trust me, being observant can help you pick up on these little details.

Here are eight subtle signs to watch for that may indicate a co-worker is attracted to you but trying to keep it under wraps:

1) They find reasons to be around you

Let’s start with the basics: If your co-worker is attracted to you, they’ll naturally want to be near you.

You might notice them hanging around your desk more often, or conveniently appearing in the break room every time you go for a coffee break—they might even find excuses to attend meetings they otherwise wouldn’t need to!

It’s a subtle way of increasing interaction without being too obvious.

Sure, this could just be a friendly gesture but, if it’s happening more frequently than usual, it’s worth paying attention to–so don’t jump to conclusions just yet.

2) They remember the little things

There’s a saying, “People remember what they care about”.

This holds true especially when it comes to attraction.

When I was working in my previous job, there was this co-worker, let’s call him John.

John would remember the tiniest details about our conversations—that I like my coffee black with no sugar, my favorite band, even the name of my childhood pet.

It was only later that I realized these weren’t just observations of a friendly colleague; John was interested in more than just professional camaraderie.

People like John are investing time and energy into remembering things about you, which is often a clear indicator of interest.

3) Their body language shifts when you’re around

Body language is a powerful, often subconscious, form of communication so, when attracted to someone, our body language tends to become more open and inviting.

A co-worker might lean in when talking to you, maintain longer eye contact than with others, or subtly mirror your gestures and postures.

According to The Berkeley Well-Being Institute, this is called the “mirroring effect” and it’s an unconscious behavior often exhibited when we feel a connection with someone.

These changes in body language are subtle, yet telling signs of attraction.

4) They compliment you often

There’s a difference between professional compliments and those that hint at personal attraction.

A co-worker who frequently compliments you on things outside of your work performance, like your outfit, your smile, or even your sense of humor might be attracted to you.

Of course, they might be just friendly and kind-hearted but, if these compliments keep coming, especially when they’re not being tossed around to others in the office, it’s a sign that they may be seeing you in a different light.

5) They show genuine concern for your well-being

When someone starts to care about you on a deeper level, it often goes beyond the boundaries of professional courtesy.

Checking in on you when you’re feeling under the weather, or asking about that family situation you mentioned in passing, shows that your co-worker is thinking about you outside of work hours.

To you, it might just be something you would think for a while—in passing—but your co-worker is genuinely concerned about your well-being, and that’s a feeling that usually originates from the heart.

This kind of empathy and genuine concern shows that they see you as someone they truly care about.

6) They engage with you on social media

In this digital age, our online interactions often speak louder than words.

I remember when I first started noticing that a co-worker was constantly liking my posts, commenting, and even sharing some of them.

Honestly, it felt like they were reaching out to connect on a level beyond the office.

Actively engaging with you on social media—liking your photos, leaving thoughtful comments, or even sending you articles they think you might find interesting—is only but one of the potential signs that leads to your co-worker’s infatuation towards you.

7) They initiate personal conversations

It’s normal to chat with colleagues about work-related matters—but when those conversations shift from professional to personal, then that’s where you have to pause and reflect.

Taking the initiative to ask about your weekend plans, your hobbies, or your opinion on non-work related topics, means that your co-worker is trying to get to know you better on a personal level.

Still trying to keep it cool by engaging in casual, friendly conversations, this sudden interest in your life outside of work could be a subtle sign that they’re attracted to you.

8) They treat you differently from others

This is perhaps the most significant sign of all: among all the members of your team, including you, they’ll often treat you differently from others.

They might be more patient with you, go out of their way to help you, or give you more of their time and attention.

Not to burst your bubble, but this sign will also make heads turn and whispers multiply—your fellow co-workers might start to notice the unequal treatment your infatuated co-workers give to them versus you.

Though, as unfair as it is to some, it’s not about favoritism, but the underlying attraction that’s influencing their behavior towards you.

Final thoughts: It’s all about respect

Attraction in a professional setting can be nuanced and subtle.

These signs might offer clues, but it’s essential to respect personal boundaries and feelings at work.

If you notice these behaviors and feel uncertain or uncomfortable, prioritize professionalism and clear communication.

Attraction is complex and sometimes misunderstood, so approach it with kindness and understanding.

Above all, your comfort and well-being should always come first.

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